Now what?

[BarbH]

Thanks Job. He has already said he wants me to stay for a year. and help with the bills and talk to bank about refinancing etc. I keep waffling on it for a few reasons: it's a long way out of town, long winters, need new reliable car. I can't get an answer out of him about why he wants me to stay. Other than his crazy cake eating plan of going back and forth. we have separated out finances, i am not responsible for his visa card and new mountain bike.

The thing is, when I realize how much of his baggage I've been dragging along over the years, and how I've carried the marjority of the load with no recognition, I'm not sure within myself if any of this is worth it. Or if I should just cut my losses and leave. I grapple with this daily. At my age, how much longer do I want to devote to this? After our talk last night (where he accused me of being "curt") I'm having so much trouble with detachment. After he left, I went to bed and cried. Couldn't even get up this morning. I was flattened until now. and it's 4 pm.

Do you think he is so far gone that I can risk asking him about the 1 year? Why he wants me to stay? Last night's talk did not go well. He just sits there stone cold and blames me for everything. If I didn't have the animals I would walk. They are essentially the only thing keeping me here. Do you think there might be any chance at any honesty?

Face to face question? or email? Text? he reads my texts.