Your story is not over. There are many pages left to be written. Why do I say that? Because we all have been through what you are going through and it takes many, many months for these nuts to crack open and face their issues. Sure, he may become distant and cold, but I can assure you, he will contact you again when he's ready or if he needs something. They also tend to come out of the woodwork around holidays. You may get text and/or email messages or phone calls. He may contact you and want to get together or come by the house to see the animals. He may use the animals as an excuse to come check up on you. Even though he may be distant, he will become curious as to what you are doing, etc. If you are on FB, try to keep some mystery as to what you are doing w/your life. The less pressure you put on him, the better. If he thinks that your home is a safe place to land and you aren't discussing the relationship, he may come around a bit. Try to remember this...the more you push, the harder he will pull away.
Your h may come over, walk around the place to see if another man has come into your life, i.e., like marking his territory. He may not take all of his stuff. He may seen something and just take it. Some take things that make absolutely not sense. One man took the steps to his shed and didn't bring them back until he had come through his crisis. Another man took the chair to his child's desk. Some take towels, pencils, mugs counter top appliances, etc. This stuff makes no sense to us, but it does to them at that time.
Everyone deals w/this type of situation in differently because we are all unique, but when it comes to the MLCer, they have very similar traits and behaviors. You may feel like you are done today, but tomorrow is another day. Right now, you feel like there is no hope, but there is always that one chance he may come to his senses sooner than later. You are still very raw and emotional and that is understandable. Give yourself some time to settle down. You want to be calm and collected when making major decisions. Doing them in the heat of the moment will only cause you more grief because that is when we say or do things that we can't take back. If you are angry or hurt, give yourself 24-48 hours to settle down before making decisions.
Barb, I would certainly think long and hard about separating your finances, but I wouldn't push the issue on the furniture and the house. He may decide that he wants you to stay there and help you w/the bills. Some will do that. If he is so hot to trot for a divorce, then allow him to do all of the necessary work. If I were you, I would make certain that I know what my rights are and what you are entitled to...but do not share that info w/him. That is info you need to keep to yourself.
You and only you can determine when you have had enough and want to completely walk away. But, I don't think you are at that point just yet..
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
