Did she though? You seem to think you know what she loved and wanted, yet here you are. Look I was there too, in shock that this happened to me because I thought I was doing all the right things. But there were things I WASN'T doing right, and in her eyes they did not make up for the things I was doing right.
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She would brag to her friends what I got her.
So did my XW. Doesn't mean she felt LOVED. My XW always appreciated the gifts and made a big deal out of getting them and showing them off. But that doesn't make up for the lack of effort I put into her MAIN love language. Here's the deal- guys put a lot of emphasis on material things. They see value in others based on the stuff they have. They show their value to others through the stuff they have. Most women do not operate that way. They don't put a lot of value on material possessions. Sure they appreciate them and it's better to have them than not, but that isn't how they feel LOVED. Do you understand the difference? I'm telling you that your W didn't value that stuff from a LOVE standpoint, and you are trying to argue that surely she did because she liked gifts and showed appreciation for them. NO, that DOESN'T mean she felt loved.
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She said we would never be able to afford a Lexus, I got one for her birthday and she was estatic. She said we will never affords to go to beaches, I surprised her for our anniversary 2 years ago. A Louis Vuitton bag just because I sold 2 homes over a million dollars and made a lot of money so I treated her. I can keep going on. But it was never enough I guess.
She showed appreciation outwardly, but she may very well have been developing resentment inside. She said you can't afford XYZ so you went out and bought it. Honestly I'm surprised she didn't read you the riot act, it's what my XW would have done. She would have explained (rightfully so) that the money should be spent on important things such as college funds for the kids rather than frivolous feel-good items.
Your arguments are pretty common- "how could my wife leave me???? I gave her a nice home, I have a steady income, we always had nice cars, I bought her nice gifts, we had great vacations" etc. etc. So many guys come here saying that. I think I did too. But that's not how women measure happiness. We're trying to project our ideas of happiness onto them, while ignoring their REAL needs.
