I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying participation is mandatory.
SteveS and I are both struggling with what "participation" means. I think this is where our sitches diverge a little bit, with my MC so heavily focused on childcare issues.
Originally Posted by LH19
I’m skeptical when there is a separation. If she really wanted to work on it a separation is not likely needed. When people separate it’s more then likely another person involved. Obviously there are outliers
I wonder how this actually works in a separation where the couple reconciles. It does happen sometimes.
You start with a separation. At some point down the timeline, there must be dinner dates. How do you go from A to B? Where do you start? If you just separated, it seems strange to flip the switch and suddenly both be actively engaged in fixing things. Part of the point of separation is that one or both parties needs time and space.
I have a possibly controversial theory about separations that work out. I suspect substance abuse is involved many times. There is an obvious problem, both parties understand what the problem is, and one party has to go fix it.
Then there are separations like SteveS's and mine. Our WAW's are indecisive. Heck asking for separation is an incredibly indecisive move, but with heavy consequences. I know my W did not think this through at all. It's "I want a D, but I don't want the guilt of a D."
