So this is my first post. I'm struggling a lot right now with my marriage.
I've been married to my wife for almost 7 years, but together for 10. We have one son and I have a daughter from a previous marriage. For the first 8 years of our marriage, everything truly seemed good. We were best friends, enjoyed many of the same activities, had a lot of mutual friends. We were passionate and goofy people.
But about two years ago, my wife started a new job. She began going out with her new co-workers, and withdrawing emotionally. I was never invited to these get-togethers, and felt like I was slowly being cut out of her life.
Last year, I discovered she was having an emotional affair with her boss. Our marriage became hostile, and for a long time she blamed me for the affair. Things continued to escalate until she went to stay with her brother for a "week" in June. She's still there.
My problem is: she goes through these waves where she's truly her old self. We'll go for coffee or take our son to breakfast, and she'll let slip "when I come home", or "once things are better". But then the following day, she's back to cold and calculating. It truly feels like I'm married to two different people, that's how drastic the personality changes are.
She did begin going to counseling to "find herself" in June, but her anger and resentment towards me seems to have grown since then. I know that a lot of times I've come across needy and pleading for reconciliation. It's just so hard because when she's back to her old self, she even looks at me differently, lovingly. I just don't know what to do. I've asked her to allow us to spend a weekend alone all summer (our son has been visiting my in-laws), but she ends up making plans with friends, etc. I really want to save my marriage, but I don't know how to proceed. Any advice would help!
