No desire to work on our marriage, but a recent acknowledgment that we likely need counseling as she feels that things are getting worse and she is willing to go...but she doesn’t want an anti-divorce counselor and seems to hope the counselor would recommend a trial separation.
I'd pass on the marriage counseling. She doesn't want to save the marriage, so this is simply for her to be validated that her choice is OK and she wants you to be told that she is right. Just like you want her to hear it from someone else that you are right about saving it. Don't go, it will be a "crapshow".
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According to her, she was never in love and we never had a good connection...her old phone says that she did feel that we once had a good connection and she has commented on the sadness of when she realized that she’d lost the loving feelings for me.
Just validate her feelings for the time being. This can help her see you in a different light, and there's no sense in arguing about this unless you want to push her away.
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She will arrange to do stuff with just me (concerts and events).
I'd decline 75% of these and have something to do of your own. She may get pissy, but again she is wanting a divorce so why should y'all be hanging out all the time. She needs to see you being strong and moving forward if you want to save this.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
