MrBrside has seemingly come out of nowhere with some outstanding comments, observations and advice, I think he is really spot on in what he said in the last few posts. Read it and take it in!
Originally Posted by curtis7
You guys were right. Her awakening was not sustainable. It didn’t last, she is back with the OM.
So it played out exactly like we said it would. Why? Because we have seen these situations sooooo many times and we know what to expect. Please listen to us, we're trying to help but you've got to trust that we know what we're talking about, and I think right now you're still trusting your (oh-so-wrong) instincts over our advice.
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WW was with divorced BFF last night and it appears that has cemented my fate.
Don't sweat BFF. She's just an "enabler" and all that means is she is telling your W what she already wants to hear. She is going to surround herself with enablers and cut people out of her life that try to talk some sense into her. It's what WAS's do.
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To make things more interesting, I decided to hit send tonight on an email I drafted a couple months ago asking her to attend Retrouvaille with me. I am fully expecting a no or no response, however it gives her something to think about. Nothing left to lose at this point and if the question ever comes up with my kids I can show them that I tried up until the end.
And this is where your faulty instincts are sending you astray again. DON'T DO THIS. PERIOD. If you've learned nothing from the last week then learn this- you simply cannot trust your instincts, because they are WRONG. LISTEN TO US!!!! Detach. Leave her alone. STOP ALL THE PRESSURE!!! Not only will the answer be "no", but she will wonder at just how sad and pathetic you are that you keep doing this even when she's having an affair right in your face. That is NOT attractive. Incidentally, you couldn't go to Retrou even if you wanted to because she is in an affair. To even get your foot in the door of Retrou both of you have to separately pass a phone interview stating there is no OP and that you are at least somewhat interested in giving the M a chance.
