New Chapter Pt 2 - without her

[EZdozit]

Been a while since I made a post but feel after yesterday it would be appropriate to make an update. I can now officially say I’m legally divorced. Over the last few months, I found and moved into a nice house that’s in an ideal part of the city where I’m 10 minutes from downtown and only 5 miles from sons school. I let S7 pick the place out and we have created our own little man boy haven out of the place. The job that I had accepted proved to be somewhat of a stopgap as it wasn’t as advertised, however it provide me a presentable means while I continued to look at other opportunities, and I have since accepted a new role that will be back in my professional field and will earn a wage representative to where I was prior and won’t require any travel outside my metro area so I can be available for my sons activities.

S7 has still had issues in adapting to his new norm, whereas back in May I discovered what amounts to a suicide note where he wrote he wanted someone to feed him peanut butter so he could die. I took critical action and got him into a new psychiatrist/psychotherapist. I made a plea to Ex to engage and set her differences aside for the betterment of son yet she didn’t even engage or acknowledge the crisis. Nonetheless, S7 has responded very well and seems to be on an upward trajectory in just having joy in being a kid again.

Had a settlement conference in July in an effort to get everything resolved in July but that fell fruitless after 3 1/2 hours. We had to go to trial yesterday as a result of not being able to get all issues resolved. Judge ruled most issues in my favor and shut Ex’s theatrics down pretty quick. During trial ex tried to portray herself as a victim and blame me for all that is still wrong with her life...it was evident to everyone in the room that she was ill equipped to explain her charges when I had facts to back up and disprove everything she claimed. What was telling is ex tried to go after me for attorney fees...where her legal fees were double of what mine were. That was quickly tossed out. The travesty is that her decision to be as divisive throughout this entire process is we collaboratively lit in excess of $150k I showed really no emotion or felt any different after trial concluded. All I could really see is that I feel sorry for the monster that has consumed my ex. She clearly still has the emotional maturity of a toddler and isn’t capable of moving on. I know it’s often said after BD we are dealing with WAW or MLC. I’ve come to terms that Ex is who she is now and likely will never come out of her way of thinking. She truly did morph into a monster right after her mom died and she’s put all of her anger, guilt, and frustrations into me rather then properly grieve the loss. Now that this is finally finished, I can pray for her from a distance that she will at least be able to become a suitable mother to my son...but that will be all I will ever do going forward.

This entire process lasted 23 months. I’ve evolved tremendously having gone through everything and experience what many of us have had to endure. I feel I did my proper grieving of the loss of relationship 7-8 months ago. My day went on as normal after trial and I was centered, happy, and finally free. That freedom is what I wanted more than anything the last 6 months. Now I finally put a bow on this chapter in my life and I’m excited for what’s in store next!