You are still hanging on for dear life to that rope...
Originally Posted by curtis7
Once I found out she has went back to OM that did it for me. I can no longer tolerate the disrespect. He is the last one she thinks about at night and the first one she thinks about in the morning. I will not remain in a MR where I’m an afterthought.
Then
Originally Posted by curtis7
To make things more interesting, I decided to hit send tonight on an email I drafted a couple months ago asking her to attend Retrouvaille with me.
You have just made a statment about disrespect, then go against all logic and send the email about Retroivaille... Pursuit !
I'll bring this back to the bully comparison.You have effectively said..
Originally Posted by curtis7
Right dad, i'm not going to take this any more. Today, when i see him i will stand up to him.. I will no longer tolerate this disrespect..
Then
hmmm.. I'm worried what the bully will say / do...
Originally Posted by curtis7
Right Dad before i stood up to the bully, I decided to email the bully and tell him to leave me alone as i dont like it or the way he acts.
Dad feels pity - Bully laughs has ass off - both lose repect.
You are still thinking on emotion. You are not making rational decissions. I haven't gone back through the thread, but from memory one of the Vets even states that Retrouvaille won't move forward if a partner is engaged in an affair ? Yet you still send the email.. Your words will not shake her from this ( In much the same way i feel my words to you fall on deaf ears ) - You are trying to save your marrige, i am trying to help you to save yourself - or at least make the most of the life you have...
Your marrige is gone.. It will never return as you knew it
Another comparison - When my grandad had his stroke and then went into a coma we had a choice. There was a very very very very small chance ( but virtually zero ) he could recover. But it could be months, even years.. And even then he would not be the same person he was before the stroke.
The family had a choice to make.. Allow them to stop feeding / life support or spent the next week, month, years making regular trips to the hospital.. My Grandmother would have been left in limbo..
Point i am making - its a hard decission, your emotions are working against you etc - But you need to let go...
I can't help but feel the decission to see a laywer wasnt about you wanting a divorce, but another hope that the letter may snap her out of this.. She is too far gone..
Get rid of the horse and break contact, except when kid related - If you only see her once a week etc you will make massive progress..
Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..
Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
