Lost

[gzabetas]

Hey Leo, sorry to hear about your sitch.
It is very similar to my story, and I am only a few months ahead of you in the process.
Let me tell you that it does get better. And this coming from a man who wanted to swerve his car into the opposite lane.
As hard as it seems right now, there will come a time when you will not think about her all day. Maybe 5 or 10 minutes and maybe not even every day.

All of us wanted to make it work, read the DR book etc. But when we get bomb dropped our wives are already gone. Most of the times anyway. Thats why we need to start detaching immediately. They have a head start on us.

Sounds like there is also an infatuation, limerence with the affair person. Happens as well.
Mine had it. She was moping around the house crying when it fizzled. Cause it usually does fizzle.

Liked AS's reply. Two train wrecks cant make a whole. Very true.

I loved many of the replies here. I will also mention Sandis. She is the vet here. And she also made good points.
The emotional neglect is re-writing history. And if it was so bad, why couldnt they talk to us about it.
They surely have no problem picking fights with us now.

You may get her back one day. But would you want her. After all this disrespect.

My psychologist told me 2 things that I recall.
- Your old wife, the one you knew and loved. She is dead. You can mourn her for a few weeks. But thats it.
Go on with the living. What little time we have left as living beings should be spend with the living, not the dead.
It also rhymes with the WAW being abducted by an alien analogy we hear in this forum.
- One day she will regret it. But it will never be the same.

The second point is true as well. Who would want a person that went to such extremes to disrespect you.

In the end its not about you. We didn't cause this mess. As much as our wive's want to make us believe that.