Shocked and Lost. Don't know what to do

[SoTorn]

You seem to be doing the right thing. You did respond when he called you and texted you over and over. But you did in your own time.

And no, if you are doing something for you, that has no impact on finances or your H, you dont need to tell him.

You can absolutely just tell him you were busy.

Yes, he is going to get mad as hell and stomp around like a child. Its because he wants his way and his way only. When I started detaching from my EXWW, she got very angry and filled the void with negativity.

Some WS get mad, some see their loved one slipping away and get their [censored] together and some dont care.

The key word with how you respond when he calls and texts is "aloof". Like you are life so busy focusing on yourself that you honestly dont have time for your phone, no matter whos calling or texting.

And when your H asks about it, you just be friendly and vague.

As long as he is actively talking to the OW, he is still cheating and you need to continue to detach. Even with him kicking and screaming that he wants the opposite. Just remember this is a very long and tough emotional road. Its Its something that is going to take a very long time to get through one way or the other.

As everyone says here, its a marathon and not a race. Focus on achieving one thing about detaching at a time. I think you did well and you know you did well because your H threw a baby fit.