Another rough day. My w was just spitting fire. All because I went to the house to pick up my d and my d gave me a hard time as always that she doesn’t want to go with me. So of course w takes out on me that it’s my fault that we should have left right away. I asked my w a couple of days before if it was ok for me to bring some stuff over to make breakfast.
I don't understand your purpose in preparing breakfast at W's place, when you know how your D acts about leaving with you. Have you tried my suggestion of telling your W you will pick the kids at xx time and to have them ready to leave when you pull up in the driveway? That way, you bypass the drama in the house, plus it puts the responsibility of having the kids ready on her shoulders, instead of everything being your fault. Don't go inside the house to plead with your D. If she isn't waiting by the door, then leave without her. Your W will get fed up with her, and will see that D gets her fanny in gear. As long as you persist in going inside, it's going to fall on you.
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My d was saying she didn’t feel good but every time she has to go with me it’s the same excuse. W said it’s not fair that she is a prisoner in the house. I said I understand how you could feel that way it must be frustrating. She gets so mad when I validate.
Perhaps she feels you are patronizing, rather than sincerely validating.
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Again I said I can see how that can be frustrating.
Since this seems to make her angry, try saying something else, rather than repeating yourself. Check out Wonka's validation cheat sheet.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
