Now what?

[BarbH]

Thanks Grace-short answer as I'm on the way to work. I hear he's been talking to his sister. The biggest complaint she heard was that "he just wanted a clean house" and the "inside was my job". I did hear from him that I mismanaged money.

You know, I work, he works (both shift). I never agreed inside was my job. I did the shopping/meal planning, cooking and the vast majority of the cleaning. I also did all the horse related chores outside, fixed fencing, landscaping and outside projects with him. Looking back, I he mowed lawns, and kept our equipment running.

Money-he never bothered to look at any budget I presented him with. But he certainly wanted to buy boats and snowmobiles etc. The past few years-I just made it happen as it was easier. He'd say things like "let the moths out of the wallet".

Poor communication-I know we've had these issues in the past-and I have said we needed to work on them. His response was "I'm not a therapy sort of guy"-even now, he thinks he's figuring it out in his head.

Then I got cancer and was off work for a year. Really in debt. Went back to work and picked up tons of overtime trying to get things paid. (last 4 years). His complaint around that is-I missed to many events with his family, and the house is a mess. Well, really, if you were supportive at all, you'd pick up some slack.

My issues? Communication as well-I tend to clam when unhappy. Inability to freely express love (really emotionally repressed family), Inability to ask for what I want/need-I expect other to notice. I am a fixer.

He at least acknowledges he should have paid more attention to money. His sister was shocked when he didn't even know what our mortgage payment was. He would have been happier with a 1950's housewife on Ativan I think.

He won't introspect.

These things could have been dealt with at molehill size. I don't know though if they really play into whats going on now, or if they are excuses.

I read this and wonder why I even bother.