SteveS - sorry to keep this short but I’m on travel.
I have the FOA (fear of abandonment) and the tendency to beat myself up also.
It helps me to think of the things I would like to see my W change. Not that I expect her to change, but it helps me realize she has her own baggage too. We are all just people carting around baggage. Also I think it is a good step to healing NGS - take her off the pedestal and view things from a balanced point of view.
Honestly... name the top 3 things that you would like her to change if you agree to reconcile. You should notice a little power shift just by thinking this way, you get your self respect back a little bit.
