It definitely gets better and it gets better faster if we drop the rope like it’s on fire.

Regarding the vast waffling in plans, yes, it’s the massive confusion we all see that tells us something is very off with our spouses. It’s why we all say focus on you and build the best life you can because he’ll be a pendulum for a good long while. And if you take every “plan” to heart, you’ll go nuts right alongside him.

I suppose his closeness is a little touch and go? He could be a bit scared by you taking the helm on the separation agreement. Who knows?!?! I had a live - in MLCer and what I found, is he did these sorts of touch and gos for a while and then he got worse. They have to get worse to have a chance at getting better.

Note it, but just roll on because it’s just a snapshot of where he is in this moment. Do what you need to do to take care of you and if he wakes up and you’re still there, great! Do what you need to do to take care of you and if he wakes up and you’re not there, it will be his loss.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced