Persistent Endurance (Part 5)

[curtis7]

W has the kids this weekend and texted saying they were coming over to feed the horses and that we needed to tell the kids about friend’s H’s death. I was mowing the lawn when they arrived and W started asking me about wiring an outlet in her house for an over the range microwave. I gave her some advice because I don’t want the place to have an electrical fire with my kids inside. W said the microwave project was the one thing she was wanting to finish. Does that mean she is ready to come back afterwards? Doubtful.

W called me “honey” on her way to the barn. First time I heard her refer to me with that word since January. Can’t remember the exact context, but probably just a natural reaction, didn’t give it much stock.

I finished mowing, then went in the house with W. We sat the kids down in the living room. W then went to get Windex out of the closet, came back, and cleaned the coffee table and end table glass. She didn’t say anything, just did it. Very weird, guess I’m slipping with keeping up with the chores.

I took the lead on telling the kids about the motorcycle accident. I told them very directly what happened to him and that he was dead. I let them know how important it is that we are there for our friends right now. It didn’t seem to bother either of them at all. W attempted to help them understand by saying “Just think how you would feel if dad died tomorrow.”

^^^^^^^ That last statement right there is the key and why I feel her eyes have been opened. It ties things together for me and why I’ve been speculating that she is starting to realize the damage that she’s caused. I believe that she has given serious thought to losing me fully and what life would be like without me, especially if I were gone in an instant. It just may be the catalyst that starts her off on the long road home.

W and I talked about her widowed friend’s relationship with her deceased H and how it was described negatively by the W, but positively by friends of the H. We agreed that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. My W said “There are two sides to every situation and there is fault on both sides. Just like ours. But ours isn’t out in the open for everybody to comment on.”

I went out to the car to say goodbye to the kids and W showed me all the school clothes she bought for them. I complimented her on the selections. Then she said “Curtis, thank you.” I asked for what and she replied “For telling the kids about the death.” I said your welcome and goodbye.

I’ve noticed that W has been very careful around me since the death of friend’s H. It’s almost like she’s trying extra hard not to offend me over anything. It is different behavior and I’m not sure what to make of it yet.