Hi Mindy, sorry you find yourself here. But this forum has been many of our survival guide thru the eye of the storm. Sometimes advice here may not make sense, but have trust that it is eventually meant to see you thru this. Your WH is acting like a teenager who wants to run away from mommy and wants to keep his secrets. What mature adult behaves this way? He clearly knows all these things are hurting you immensely but he still continues doing it, in a very cruel way that is sending you a very clear message . Do not think of this as your own sitch, if one of your friend was going thru this and her H was treating her this way what would you tell her? Marriage is a great institution and we all uphold its value but it is also a sacred agreement of love and respect between 2 adults. This man child behavior is very unappealing almost repulsive isn’t it? Why would the strong, independent Mindy put herself thru this abuse? EA or PA it’s wayward behavior I know early on , detachment sounds hard to even wrap our heads around but eventually it will become a way of life. For now to start detaching, set your boundaries very clearly with him, follow thru those and turn the focus 100% on yourself Plan your life irrespective of what the outcome of this will be. Be kind to him so he knows how you should be spoken to. As soon as he breaks the no contact rule with his GF follow thru with strict consequences. Only you can define those as they are all specific to each of our sitches You have a lot of friends here, we all stand by you, will support you and promise to stay with you as long as you need us. Because you are worth all the love in the world. Hugs
