Story and Symptoms of WAW/MLC Part 5

[curtis7]

She doesn't trust me, doesn't believe I can change, one day is fine with me, the next day just totally resents me, is guarded, has walls up, has no romantical feelings, cannot be vulnerable, will not work on the M, just wants her space and me out of the house and out of sight out of mind, so she can start "working on herself" more since she can't with me in the house. She is starting the refi. Now for the irony....Our first mediation appointment is on our 10th Wedding Anniversay. August 13th. I know everyone here is going to tell me not to do it and rightfully so. But I am tempted to get her an anniversary card as a 180. But im probably not. Opinions?

IH I mean seriously are we married to the same person. 15th anniversary is August 7. I feel the same way to I even mention that it’s our anniversary? Probably not. It’s a shame that our wives can’t see the big picture, they are so stuck on the past and believe no one can change in their life is ridiculous. The other thing is do they believe we can’t change or do they just say that in their mind to justify their actions? For the mere fact that they have changed, from being out loving wife to hating us should prove to them that people change all they have to do is look in the mirror. But that will never happen.

IH, Wolf, my 15th wedding anniversary is in a few weeks as well. I was thinking a simple “Happy Anniversary” text. Maybe not until late morning or early afternoon to see if she sends something first. I recall reading a post from AnotherStander where he took his W out for dinner while DBing but he had moved on emotionally and had zero expectations as he was already moving through the D process.

Another text possibility: “The first X years of our marriage were amazing, the last year has been absolute hell, happy anniversary!” Just kidding, wouldn’t recommend sending that unless you want to fast track the D.