I suggest prioritizing the things that are necessary for refi- that way you can refi if it looks like you'll be staying, and you'll need to have done that stuff anyway if you're going to sell. And yes, it's a good idea to photograph all his stuff including model numbers etc. You should either get half the value in other assets, or they should be sold and the money split.
You're right that the WAS will never get stuff done - they all want the "zipless divorce" ( like the zipless f--- in Erica Jong's novel Fear of Flying) and even when they're sure they want the divorce they often can't be bothered to do the paperwork. And if you move out and he moves back in lord knows how long it'll take to get it sold.
It sounds like you're realizing it's not a great place for you living alone, and maybe not a great place for the future even if you reconcile?
