The best way I can describe it is to say I was like that frog in the pot of water that burns to death because he never notices the temperature gradually increasing until it is too late.
This is EXACTLY how I think many of us end up where we are while putting up with things we never thought we would. Though all of our stories are different, I am also embarrassed by some of the (censored) I put up with with W. I'm a strong, intelligent, independent woman who has a strong sense of self and I let her treat me that way? Treat our R that way? How in the world did I ever let that happen?
The frog analogy is spot on. You can't see the forest for the trees. I think this is one of the major reasons that in house separations don't work and that time and space is critical for not only the WAS - but more importantly the LBS.
Once you had some space you started to immediately thrive DV. When you weed the garden you can't just cut off the top - you've got to get in the dirt and pull out those deep root systems that are choking the life out of each other.
