Sorry for the delayed response. I've been keeping busy, seeing the grandkid when I can and working and enjoying nature when I can.
I've also been doing a lot of thinking.
I think the biggest problem I have is fear. Fear of being in a relationship, fear of losing again. I fear not being able to see my grandson. I know I can't control a lot, but people just throw relationships away these days and treat it like it's no big deal if they split. I know that I shouldn't even have those thoughts, but I do. Feel like I am "borrowing trouble" with the way I think sometimes.
I'm also tired. Tired of not being important. Maybe XW spoiled me. For 25 years, our sons and I were number one with her. People depended on me and needed me. Now, not so much. Maybe this is an "old person thing?" I'm only 51, but feel much older. As I've stated before, I feel like "second choice" a lot.
Sorry for the ramble and if this doesn't make much sense. I'm at work and wanted to check in.
Tad
Currently: M 57 XW 58 Sons 39,34,32,30
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
