Accept that you cannot save him and let go so that you can save YOURSELF and your children.
Hi, KML -- Oh yes, we totally agree on those two counts. That's where all my energy goes.
H was deeply flawed, yes, as was/am I; but no, he wasn't like always like this. He is totally unrecognizable to everyone we knew before, including my kids. He even looks like he is possessed. But I think you are totally right that in the practical world it doesn't matter. I think on a practical level I am mostly able to be pragmatic and to take things as they are. I post here at times when I am spiraling but mostly I see that in a practical sense, I have to proceed on face value.
I know my job is done, I just don't think God's job is done. That's where I carry a cross. It would be much easier to drop that cross. I can't drop it until I am clear that that's what God wants. I am thankful that my faith has for the most part saved me from deepest bitterness and rage. I am just not clear yet on my stand. But I will let you all know when I am!
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
