. She has thought about all of her events that he missed because of his fake treatments
Fake treatments? I don't remember that part of the story - what was that?
As for SD19's relationship with her dad - that's hard. My youngest hasn't spoken to his dad for almost three years (even though we were divorced ten years ago, this is not directly about the divorce). I fear that as it takes on a life of its own it becomes a bigger and bigger deal (oddly, my ex and his siblings have a history of not speaking to their mom, who was a WAW, for years.Still, I can't argue with my son's reasons for why he doesn't think having a relationship with his father is helpful in his life right now.
I was actually the one who got my exH to reconcile with his own mother when our first child was born. It was definitely less weight to have a polite if distant relationship with her, than to carry around this burden of not speaking to her. Over time their relationship improved and became much closer.I am hoping that eventually I can get my youngest to reconcile with his father but right now it's still too painful for him. (And since in their final argument my ex apparently badmouthed me in some vile way - I still haven't asked the details because I don't want to know, but it was bad enough that son's girlfriend at the time felt bound to jump in and defend me - I must admit I haven't been in a super hurry to make that happen).
About a year in exH did email son trying to get him to go to therapy with him - but in the next breath telling him his phone contact was running out and that he wouldn't keep paying the $30 for unemployed son's cell phone! Needless to say that reconciliation didn't happen.
I'm hoping to get youngest son further along in his mental health recovery before he attempts reconciliation, so that he's better able to deal with ex's narcissistic stuff.
But as for SD19 - you might point out to her that a polite distant relationship with her father may weight less in the long run than outright not communicating with him.
