In addition to being unable to stay with any changes or promises i have difficulty listening or paying attention, no matter how hard i try. I want everything to become second nature to me but i just can’t seem to do it, i also want to earn her forgiveness but idk if she can forgive me. She says i act like everything's fine and i act like nothing happened. To be completely honest, and i’m not trying to use this as a scapegoat, but i think i may actually have ADHD. My parents always wondered if i might have, due to behaviors and things i did, it as well as a few doctors and the counselor i’ve been going to asked if i was ever diagnosed with it, i didn’t even bring up the possibility of it before.
Jb - You listed a lot here.
Forget about your W for a minute. You listed a lot of items here that you can work on to improve yourself. And the good thing is you are aware of the problems!
I think it's really easy to get stuck at that point - being aware of the problem,s not being able to make progress. I'm not going to 2x4 you because I know what it feels like with all these issues swirling around and feeling like no matter how hard you try there is no progress.
If you think you may have ADHD, go see a doctor. Take ownership of seeking help. I definitely have ADHD-like symptoms but I believe it is situational. But also... even if you have ADHD, you will need to put in a lot of work on yourself if you want to make lasting change.
Unable stay with any changes or promises - This is something to dig into and work on. If you don't know where to start, let us know. The forum will give advice. Then it's up to you to put in the work and effort and find what actually works for you.
Difficulty listening or paying attention - Ditto.
Earn her forgiveness - I suggest you drop this for now. First of all, you are not anywhere near a stage where your W will forgive you. Work on the above things and you might have a chance in the long run. Also, I hope you want to earn her forgiveness regardless of the outcome to your M - otherwise what you are really telling yourself is you want her to accept you back, which is another form of unhealthy attachment. Forgiveness should be completely unconditional, otherwise it is not forgiveness.
