Not struggling quite as much

[Jim1234]

my only recommendation is to separate your emotions from reality and see what it actually there. I know this is hard to do, and you're getting an opportunity that all of us thought we wanted when we got here. But, like BH said, it would be hard for me at this point to reconsider a R with exW. Not sure where you fall on that scale of thought with all that has happened.

Keep us posted and I wish you all the best in your decision making process. It's not an easy one and I feel for your GF. It's great that you're upfront about it and not treating her like Plan B. Everyone deserves to be wanted, not be someone waiting in the wings.

All the best!

I am trying very hard to think logically, and not emotionally. I have long struggled to emotionally disconnect from STBXW, and was mostly there when this bomb hit. I'm really trying to be upfront and fair to GF, but I just keep telling her I'm still thinking about it. It [censored] to be her right now, and I'm very sympathetic to that.

keep your guard up with her because it doesn't sound like she has shown you ANYTHING to indicate she's serious. All she did was say she changed her mind. Words are cheap. What work has she done on herself other than getting on some new meds? What has she done to try and earn your trust back? It doesn't sound like she's done anything so far. And like you said, she doesn't even seem to be aware that she needs to own some issues. Not good signs at all. I understand the lure to recon, there are always going to be feelings there. But I would be very hesitant to throw away your newer BETTER relationship to recon with someone who is more than likely still a train wreck.

All very good points. I can't keep the new GF dangling while giving STBXW the opportunity to earn my trust and show she's serious. I can't even guide STBXW on what her issues are without feeling like I'm betraying my GF. I keep leaning first one way and then the other. I'm leaving Saturday for a few days for work, and I hope to have made a decision by the time I get back.

I took a road trip with D17 on Tuesday. I didn't think about it until I was lying in bed that night, but I realized then that I was asking her a lot of questions about STBXW, I guess to get a gauge on how well the new treatment was working. Inquiring about her makes me wonder whether I'm as detached as I thought I was.