Gekko - It's hard work moving and getting a place set up for the kids in a short amount of time. Well done. I'm impressed you'll be ready in under a week!
There is a fine line between loving detachment and icy detachment. Especially when NSO is thrown into the mix. I don't know how you are planning to interact with your W going forward, but it's hard not be frosty when almost every interaction and conversation is purely logistical. Having awareness of the NSO in the first place will probably help you avoid passive-aggressiveness, etc.
I'm curious how you plan to interact with your W going forward (like, do you actually have a plan in mind for how often you will communicate, etc.)? It helped us a lot to implement a system. Weekly call with a pre-set agenda, weekly MC, sometimes we allow the other to video chat with the kids -- otherwise text only as needed for logistics. It's working about as well as I could expect, which is better than before.
I find the best opportunities to demonstrate changes are when we have conflict, in particular during our weekly phone chat. The rest of the week, other than MC, we barely interact other than text (and text is an awful way to communicate so I keep it to a bare minimum). MC feels like a bit of an artificial setup, we are not in our natural habitat so to speak, so I don't see it as the best way to demonstrate change.
It also helps when we talk that we always discuss in our phone chat how the kids are adjusting. Regardless of the chasm between us, we both obviously love our kids very much and take it seriously how they are adjusting. I am thankful that my W is not so stone-hearted that we are unable to talk about this.
Anyways... long-winded way of saying that even as co-parents you will have opportunities to work on your 180s. These may be different opportunities than before. It's good for your kids to try to model healthy behaviors for them (obviously you can't control your W but you can do the best you can). And obviously good for you.
