JB, sorry you've been hit with so many bad things this year. It seems like that happens to many of us. We get kicked down, then kicked again, then hit with BD by the wife we thought we could always depend on through thick and thin. It happened to me too, two relatives going through cancer, one passed away, two relatives with drug problems, one of them later passed away from an overdose, problems with our kids, then XW hits me with BD. All I can say is when you're laying at the rock bottom of a pit like that, there's only one place to go and it's up. I went through a ton of pain and anguish for months like most everyone here does, then things started turning around and now I am happier and healthier than I have been in many years, since well before BD in fact. And my marriage was not saved. There are others here that are equally happy with their lives now, some reconciled and some didn't but all are in a much better place. So hold onto hope, despite how bad things seem right now in a few years you will look back on it like it was a bad dream. You may be reconciled or you may not be, but you'll get through it.
