Thank you for the advice! Would you please explain more about this comment: """ And it sounds like your 180s are all related to this EA.""
Stop monitoring his calls and texts. Leave him to figure all this out (whether he wants to keep it going or end it) himself. Stop trying to control him and the EA. Stop talking to him about it. As hard as it is just let it lie, at least for now. My counselor helped me through this (that is another idea, get into IC) by telling me that the truth always has a way of coming to light.
Those are all 180s you can make today.
Yes, that is the problem with snooping. We snoop because we have a gut feeling something is wrong, but we want to prove that everything is okay. And then we freak when our gut was right and we find something.
One of the hardest things LBSs struggle with is letting go of trying to control. Because you can't. When people want to do something they will do it, NO MATTER WHAT. So trying to control what you cannot will just frustrate you, stymie you, and keep you stuck instead of moving forward.
Your goal shouldn't be to control it, it should be to become a woman only a complete idiot would leave. If you do that, and he leaves anyway, why would you want to stay with a complete idiot?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
