Shocked and Lost. Don't know what to do

[Mindymin]

Thank you for the advice! Would you please explain more about this comment: """ And it sounds like your 180s are all related to this EA.""

You are exactly right about not letting him know how I know he's still calling her. He stopped texting awhile ago and I figured it was because he thought I might have got the texts off his phone and just by talking, there wouldn't be a way to track it. She has changed her phone number three times but it could be because social services were providing her a phone. I do know her current number accepts texts. I didn't know what a burner NUMBER was until very recently. I then found an app where you could trial one for a week. I did and sent her a bogus text and when she replied, I said it was an error. I'm assuming a burner PHONE is a prepaid phone?

I hadn't talked to him about this constantly. I brought it up about three weeks ago because I couldn't go on any longer acting like he wasn't talking to her when I knew he was. I couldn't go on living like that. He doesn't communicate well and that's why I started to monitor calls. I wanted proof it was 'just platonic'. It was to give me a peace of mind. And it did to a degree. At least I know their convos are not phone sex but I also know it's not a strictly platonic relationship.
I do need more friends. I work from home, had a close friend but she died from liver cancer, have no neighbors, had another good friend but she is in an abusive relationship and her husband broke our friendship off plus she lived over an hour away, and I had another very dear friend who became an alcoholic after her father died and she couldn't maintain a friendship. I have a good friend who is going through a similar situation and she has been very helpful in helping me deal with this. We have a farm on top of working full time and it doesn't leave me a lot of free time.

We had been working out together. I at least need to try and start again. It does help.

Thank you for your help!