Shocked and Lost. Don't know what to do

[Mindymin]

Thank you for your response! I sincerely appreciate it. I do feel I have many good qualities that men would find attractive and appreciate. Through this whole ordeal, I've not felt sorry for myself or blamed myself for his inappropriate behavior. There are a few things I need to improve upon but I don't take full responsibility for his behavior.

We talked some yesterday evening. I told him I didn't trust him and that he was going to have to work on that. I said you have lied to me multiple times. He doesn't talk much which is sooooo frustrating! I said his actions jeopardized our marriage and that I find it hard to believe that just texting and talking created such a strong desire for him to continue to maintain contact with her.

On Monday evening, he dropped me off at a store while he went to others. He had not called her all day and I was pleased. Unfortunately, he called her that evening . When he picked me up, I asked if he had called her. He raised his voice and threw his hands in the air. Since I am monitoring his calls, I knew he was lying and even if I wasn't monitoring, his reaction was pretty telling. He asked me why I asked and made a few more comments. I became silent because I didn't know what to say. Eventually, he said he did and again insisted they were just friends. Calling her a pet name and making sexually related comments is not what I would categorize as 'just friends'. I told him I appreciate him telling me the truth. He said he lied because he knew I would be mad. Geeze, why would he expect any other reaction from me?!?

Last night when we talked, he lied again saying he only talks to her once a week. He actually talks to her every day he works during work hours and sometimes other times if I'm not around (like Monday evening). He continues to deny anything physical happened and even though I call it cheating/having an affair, he says it isn't because it wasn't physical. I said it was impure thoughts and the texting and talking are considered cheating.