A year on and standing

[ToSmile]

Hi LH,

I'm moving out because we do not intend to keep the marital home. From where I am, Housing is quite expensive and for the size of the house which we are having now actually comes from our joint contribution. And if I am going to assume the house, I will have to buy over her share.

Anyway, the reason I am moving out is because I will be moving over to my parents place at the mean time as they are the primary care taker of my chaps while we work. And I am going to terminate the domestic helper's service back at home and dispose the house asap so I can get another property.

The taking of all these items away is also serving another slap across her face as I will end all financial contribution to current arrangement. I have yet done so because I am still utilizing some of it such as the family car and such but she would be more worst off without it than me.

My plan is stay at my parents place as they look after the kids during the day time and the other property also serves as additional passive income from renting it out. And by moving out, I am trying to get the kids to adapt and if they can't, I'll let them be back to the old house for couple of days and then move over again. They had been telling me that they like the house and don't wish to move out from it. I can keep the house if I want but that would be quite trying and not quite worth it in investment terms. And I will have to seek for separate care taking arrangement for my kids.

With regards of the EA, I do have some suspicions too. Perhaps it might have ended or she is on the look out for someone new. Or perhaps she got into a same gender affair with her friend that she is bunking with now? My wife was previously a divorcee and she was in a same gender relationship until she met me which I came by and gave her a family that she never thought she would have back then blah blah

The fog is deep with this one and she's not out of it. The way she is going at things which I like to joke about is, divorce is her KPI. On my end, I would not care much about her. I felt that she used to get reactions from me via her threats but overtime the effect is wearing off. Then she will dig at me via the children matter but that also cease to be effective for her. On the whole, she's like wolf's wife. Enabling parents, entitled, and yes the general consensus is I also spoil her after her parents that I am totally guilty of.

For now, I am focusing on myself. I am thinking if I should maintain status quo in maintaining my boundaries and continuing DB, or dish out something the next time her nonsense is here again. I just don't quite like that when I am not around, she will go and tell the kids that we are separating and how the arrangement will be like for them and next the kids will be coming to me and ask me about that. I can sense the emotional disturbance in my elder boy. When I told her to stop telling the kids such things, she retorts that she preparing them for it. She knows the kids my soft spot and previously when I said she was selfish, she claims that she is giving up the primary care taking of the kids to me because she knows my parents can take good care of them instead of entrusting them at day care centers. If she is to prove that she care for the kids, she will fight for their custody with me! Well thinking back, I should have told her take them then! haha.

Other than the kids being my primary concern, I am all good though I just feel kinda of like in a limbo for now.

Thus I as hesitating if to post or not to post as it's kinda tiring and sick to raise these old matters but well, I think I would appreciate some directions and new views as I've not been speaking to someone on these matters for a while.