I don't want to make this sound like false hope, but people do R after D. Sometimes space is what is needed for some healing, on both sides. One of my friends went through D (his W had a PA, then filed on him), and over a year after finalization they suddenly tried to R. This after a nasty D process full of anger. Not once, but twice. R didn't take.
I'm curious - what drove them to try to R? And what ultimately led to the failure? I don't have false hope - the stat I read was that 1/3 of divorced couples attempt to R and, of those, a third succeed. 10% chance is poor but not nothing. At this point, though, it feels like we are barely roommates.
I don't know the detailed history, but the LBH was always open to R, and his WAW made overtures. They tried twice to my knowledge.
I think timing has a lot to do with R failures -- I think it's common for both parties to want to R at some point, but often not at the same time.
Originally Posted by crdcheck
Originally Posted by unchien
I have my kids 30% of the time now, I miss them unbelievably, it is heart-breaking to see them forced to adapt to this situation, but... overall, I can't deny that I am happier right now than I was living with my W the last several months.
Why only 30%?
I assume you mean as opposed to 50/50? Once my youngest is school-age I would press for 50/50 (if our sitch goes that route).
I don't really feel like listing all my rationale, other than just saying 30/70 is what I wanted, my W proposed less, and I got all of what I wanted. So I am satisfied. My only quibble is I have a fairly long stretch between seeing them, so we are working on trying to insert some time in there during those gaps.
We'll see how it goes, my W and I are open to adjusting this schedule once it gets up and running when school starts.
