Your response should be "that must have been difficult for you, it sounds like you are sad and frustrated, is that how you feel?" Just listen and validate no matter how outrageous her claims seem to be.
This will work every time. Memorize it. Practice it. Practice it with your D. Practice it in the car by yourself.
Just change the emotions as needed. Frustrated is one of my favorite words.
Ask yourself "How would I feel if that happened to me?"
Scared, Happy, Worried
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
