Maybe I know what to do 5

[ozman]

Ok R2C. I will do this exercise but I’m going to keep it about me and not her and I’m going to post a lot less today per AS suggestion

W “WAYTA?”
Me “what are we doing? We are getting better every day so are we gonna work on this? Cause you obviously still enjoy being around me. (Bad)

Me I am thinking about how that pickup is going to be paid off in about a year and that is going to help our finances a lot (good)

Me wanna have sex? (Really really bad)

Me. S sure has come a long way. His improvements are amazing. I want to take him out to enjoy the world more. (Good)

Me. What happens when the lease runs out in 7 months. You getting your own place? Or are we gonna stick together? (Bad)

How is that?

I actually thought your list was really hard to do. I haven’t finished it yet

It’s about how to be more attractive right?

[AnotherStander]

See ya here in a couple days

Awesome Oz, I look forward to hearing what GAL you came up with and hearing how it went! I'm glad you took this to heart, it will help you tremendously

[Ready2Change]

I am in a country were I don't understand the language. I am working days and GAL to the max in the evening. I get to do exactly what I want, when I want, for as long as I want.

#1 GAL --> Photography. Walking the streets looking for anything interesting to photograph. Graffiti, buildings, people, animals.

#2 GAL --> Food and Beer. Drinking good beer and delicious food.

#3 GAL --> Walking. I walk and and walk and walk. Can I navigate without getting lost,without needing my phone?

#4 GAL --> Shopping. looking for things I can not buy in the US. Successfully buying things.

#5 GAL --> Listening. How do they say yes? No? Thank you? Goodbye? Hello? Speaking new words.

#6 GAL --> Observing. How are people here the same? Different? Do I stand out? Can I blend in? Can I be observant and not be a target.

#7 GAL --> Chess. Currently playing 2 different people online. Was playing OZ. Where are we at?

[ozman]

DANG IT!!!

Ok AS sorry. I do need some help on this. So I’m breaking your advice for a min. There are not enough hours in the day for me to explain why I don’t like my mom. I haven’t told her anything about what is going on. She would jump in the middle of everything and blow up Ws phone and not leave her alone. She almost made us divorce in the past. She ran around and told my entire family behind my back. Scott’s W is cheating on him she only married him for his money. She spread lies. She would go tell my W i said things I did not. Now she likes to pretend everything is ok and none of it ever happened.

Now I’ve been trying to think of something EXTREMELY low key for our anniversary (aug 6). Like a very low key card or just saying happy anniversary or maybe nothing at all. But just nice and no pressure and no pursuit. Things are still slowly improving very very slowly

My mom just text my W and me

Good morning..If you 2 have no plans I would like to babysit S this weekend so you 2 can go out on me for your Anniversary. .I know it's the 6th but that is on a week day for all of us to have to work..Seriously my treat dinner and whatever om me...Please let me know I'm healthy and ready to go..Love ya mom😊

I’m so pissed. I don’t know what to do about this My mom is shoving it Ws face. But I can’t tell her to stop because she would want to know why and I can’t tell her

[ozman]

W is going to want to talk about this and will probably bring up anniversary. I could really use some direction before I get home if work please.

Another Stander. I’m not trying to break your advice. This just kinda hit out of the blue and I’m not sure what to do

[SteveLW]

So go to dinner on your mom's dime! Tonight, ask her: "Did you see my mom's text?" Then shutup and listen and validate.

If she is for it, then do it. If she is against it, take your S to your mom's and go out to dinner by yourself.

Win-win.

[ozman]

Sorry. My mom is planning on driving here from 5 hrs away. She wants to stay with us. My W hates her and doesn’t want her to come. I really don’t want to see her either. My mom just keeps trying to invite herself to our house every weekend

I’m asking about the anniversary thing. I figured dinner was way over the line. I was trying to follow your advice about anniversary. I have to figure out a way to navigate that conversation tonight

[SteveLW]

I wouldn't ask her to dinner. That is over the line. But since your mom ripped that bandaid off I was going with it.

oz, have we discussed No More Mr. Nice Guy? I highly suggest reading that book. Tell your mom that you guys have plans for the weekend, do not need her to babysit, but thank you for the offer. Simple. To the point. Immutable.

[AnotherStander]

I wouldn't ask her to dinner. That is over the line. But since your mom ripped that bandaid off I was going with it.

I agree. Oz, tell your W to disregard your mom's message. Then contact your mom and tell her that is very kind of her, but she needs to butt out and never to do that again without asking you first because the situation is much more dire than she realizes and she is making things worse by trying to intervene. Say it lovingly but firmly.

Problem solved, now don't post again until you have some juicy GAL to share with us.

[ozman]

I have heard that book talked about here. I need to get it. I think that is what I’m going to do. I wouldn’t trust my mom to watch my S anyway.

I’m just upset because it’s going to force an anniversary convo between W and I. And I was planning on just a quaint “happy anniversary “ the morning of then off to work then play that evening by ear.

My mom will ask why and then she will pry and then pry some more then she will tell me I am a bad son and remind me of how great a mother she was and then tell me how her kids are awful to her. Then when she hangs up with me she will start blowing up Ws phone and asking questions and prying for info from her and wanting to know how our M is and going crazy on my W

She will also tell us happy anniversary about 600 more times and then the morning after our anniversary call us and msg us and want to know what we did and how proud she is of our M and how we are such a good couple and a bunch of really mushy marriage stuff.

It’s like she will put on tons of pressure on W all by herself weather I like it or not

And if I tell her my M is struggling...... Katie bar the door. She would call and msg my W prolly 20 times a day and try to fix our M for us.

And we don’t even want to talk to her in the phone. Let alone see her

Another stander. I just saw your post. Telling my mom that anything is wrong with my M word be terrible. She will not listen to me. She would just destroy my M for me.

I really don’t know what to do