I don’t want to get caught up in the semantics of words.

Ignore the word victim.

I believe that suffering is universal.

We all face some sort of suffering—some greater than others.

In the face of terrible suffering, it is common to lose hope and feel powerless. When that happens, it is common to get to a very dark place where one seeks to either drown/escape the pain (alcohol/suicide). I am not saying that is where you are. I am saying to remember the opposite: as long as one is alive, there is always hope and choice/empowerment.

A little side story. A Holocaust survivor tells of a night in Auschwitz. Her mother and father had been killed that day. She and her sister were teenagers. So what do they do? They and their cell mates decide to take off their tops and have a best boobs contest. Frivolous? Crazy? Yes, but also a moment in which to laugh and remember that they were still silly teenage girls somewhere in their souls. Those who could not remember that and only fully absorbed all the death and suffering around them understandably lost the will to go on, to live.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving