What's really improved for me is my ability to bounce back to a positive attitude and letting a wider perspective in. I think that the full detachment journey takes its time and I can't necessarily rush it. I am looking at things that are in my control and making better decisions and moves to improve my life.
The house has always kind of been a sore point for me. exW did BD less than six months after we purchased our dream home - perfect for both of us and the kids. It finally felt like I had arrived in life as an adult lol. With all that being ripped apart in such a short amount of time, the hurt from that particular thing hasn't healed as fast as I had hoped. I know that it's just a house - bricks and walls. It wasn't the 'home' that we would've created together over years. I am missing the idea of 'home'.
I had to move from a decent townhouse to a crappier apartment to be in the kids school district and also to save some $$$. It's a wealthy neighborhood and so my options for renting something decent are very limited. And I don't have the $$ to buy a house any time soon. So, I have to start thinking about what to do. Homes that exW is looking at are outside the school district as far as I know, which means that I have to get something in a very small district that can work financially for me - this will be a challenge.
I put so much stock into having a 'house' that I forgot about the kinds of experiences that I want my kids to have. So, I am developing a list of experiences and things we can do over the next many years that can contribute to a good life for them, rather than thinking that a house will automatically fill that void.
I have to improve my financial condition and so I am focusing on that right now. Getting a better job with higher pay so that I can figure out how to afford better living conditions and pay for the types of experiences we want to have, especially travel stuff.
I had a fantastic weekend with the kids and I am looking forward to August when I have time off to do a buncha stuff with them. Some lazy days on the beach and desserts
I am sure exW's relationship can't be all that rosy and full of sunshine. Research shows that the first six months to a year, everyone is experiencing a high and then it comes down as reality sets in. We'll see how they deal with that especially because they've moved so fast, which in itself is a bit absurd. Oh well - they can sit in this pile because they created it.
I am back on track and feeling much better and hopeful and optimistic. I love this community.
