The other reason you trying to control her is a bad idea, because WWs especially want what is forbidden. By forbidding her to do that, it makes her want to do it more. If she ever stays at your house again, you can bet she will contact him to spite you.
What to expound on this, curtis, since you may not have read much about my own sitch. During my 2005 sitch, I had put spyware on our home PC, that is how I caught my W's EA. She sent him a no contact email. Immediately said she wanted to fix our marriage. However, her heart was far from me. She was "in love" with him, or at least this trumped up image of him in her head.
In the weeks that followed, she felt like a caged animal. She started sending him email despite the fact that I could monitor the activity. It was like a big "screw you and your rules" to me.
I came home one night, went into the office, and uninstalled the spyware. I told her "you are free to do whatever you want to do."
The result? She no longer wanted to communicate with him, and that died out almost immediately. She committed back to our marriage, and overtime proved that commitment through consistent behavior.
curtis, drop all control efforts. You are still trying to control what you cannot. And it will work against you. Further, your WW isn't going to change over a weekend. Hope is good, expectations are bad. And I see expectations in your update. Her behavior will have to be consistent over a long period of time before you will ever be able to trust that she is having second thoughts related to her choices. Not a few moments of emotion over a weekend.
You were going to take some pretty strong actions last we talked. How are you coming on those?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
