I've been divorced before. I did the filing (petitioner). If I were on the receiving end (respondent) I would not sign anything before reading it completely and having an attorney review it.
What if she insists, she said if i don’t sign that’ll make things even worse between us and that she would make me pay for court costs and possibly get a restraining order and force me out and that i couldn’t see the dogs or her anymore then even as a friend
What if she insists, she said if i don’t sign that’ll make things even worse between us..
If the papers are fair, she shouldn't bat an eyelash if you want to take a week and have them reviewed. Note, your case may be much simpler than mine if you don't have kids or sizeable assets.
Originally Posted by Jb2019
and that she would make me pay for court costs
What court costs?! She's going to.. spend a couple thousand dollars and months working her way through the legal system because you want a week to review the papers?! Such high pressure tactics imply trickiness. In that case, I'd ABSOLUTELY insist on a week to have an attorney review the papers.
Originally Posted by Jb2019
that i couldn’t see the dogs or her anymore then even as a friend
Is she acting as a friend when she asks you to sign papers without giving you adequate time to review them? Is she legally assured the dogs.. in other words.. did she own them pre-marriage?
Originally Posted by Jb2019
and possibly get a restraining order and force me out and
A real threat. Assuming no prior incidents, I bet this would also take more than a week.
It’s like at this point she's just trying to say and do whatever she can to hurt me, and she knows what will work on that.. idk if i should believe what she’s saying
It’s like at this point she's just trying to say and do whatever she can to hurt me, and she knows what will work on that.. idk if i should believe what she’s saying
JB - "Believe none of what she says and only half of what she does."
This is DB scripture. Memorize it. When you W talks and threatens you, listen, validate, and your goal should be to have zero... ZERO... emotional turmoil. Set a boundary that you will not tolerate verbal abuse. It's an impossible goal to achieve when things are intense like this, but that should be your goal.
Her: "Blah blah blah" You: "I'm sorry you feel that way, I imagine it is quite frustrating." [listen, validate] Her: "Blah blah blah restraining order blah blah blah court costs blah blah blah." You: "I cannot continue this conversation if you are going to threaten me." [boundaries]
Originally Posted by Jb2019
What if she insists, she said if i don’t sign that’ll make things even worse between us and that she would make me pay for court costs and possibly get a restraining order and force me out and that i couldn’t see the dogs or her anymore then even as a friend
Don't you dare sign those papers because your W insists! Seriously.
It may help calm you to go speak to a L. Many offer free consults for the first 45-60 minutes. Get informed. You aren't obligated to tell your W.
Yeah, she may file a frivolous RO or make this overly litigious. That [censored], it happens to some of us. Just make sure to think clearly about what you want -- caving to her demands is not going to earn back your respect, and you will regret it regardless of how your MR ends up.
So i need help understanding sandi’s rules and some of the stuff from the book. How far do i take these things? Do i do anything at all for her (like clean or go to the store for her)? How do i gain her respect without her blowing up on me and saying horrible things to me? Do i need to communicate with her currently, and how do i properly do it for the future? How do the techniques in the book break down? And how far do i take those? Do i do what she wants me to do? How do i get a life and go dark and stuff while still showing her that i love her and want to be with her? Things like this, i know it’s a lot of questions but i need help clearing some of this up
What if she insists, she said if i don’t sign that’ll make things even worse between us and that she would make me pay for court costs and possibly get a restraining order and force me out and that i couldn’t see the dogs or her anymore then even as a friend
Meh. Empty threats to try to get what she wants. Go get a L.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
It’s like at this point she's just trying to say and do whatever she can to hurt me, and she knows what will work on that.. idk if i should believe what she’s saying
That is easy. Do not believe a single syllable that comes out of her pie hole.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
What if she insists, she said if i don’t sign that’ll make things even worse between us and that she would make me pay for court costs and possibly get a restraining order and force me out and that i couldn’t see the dogs or her anymore then even as a friend
Meh. Empty threats to try to get what she wants. Go get a L.
So she’s still trying to hurt me but doesn’t really mean it?
