Ok guys, sorry for this rant. Today was just one of those days
Vent here as needed. You can let those emotions out in your car while you are alone if needed. Yell and scream. Or cry. Whatever is needed. Find your safe place and let them out.
Will do Ready2Change. Those are great ideas. Having the self-control to not tell him how I really feel is tough. However, I’m holding it it.
There have been times when I’ve said what I wish I could say to him...in my car...by myself....during my commute. Thankfully blue tooth/car phone access is a thing, otherwise people would think I’m crazy. Lol! I’ll just be driving fussing and cursing...having an imaginary conversation with my H. Lol. So I know it does help.
Although I’m going to miss him when he leaves, I do think things will get better for me. It’s going to take some getting used to since we’ve been together for so long, but over time, I’m sure I’ll be ok.
When he leaves I’ll be going dark. He has this fantasy that he and I will be the best of friends after he moves out. He’s going to be highly mistaken. If it’s not about the kids, the finances, or our house...there’s nothing for us to discuss.
I mentioned that to him once. He didn’t like what I said and didn’t seem to believe me. I’ll make sure my actions back my words up. Going dark will help with that.
I’m going to take that time to start a new life. A fresh new life without all of his MLC chaos. I’m going to continue to work on becoming the best version of myself that I can. I’m going to leave him to his mess. I’m to keep my focus solely on me.
So when he sends me a text asking me how I’m doing, how is my day, what am I doing, or to try to tell me how his day is going...I won’t respond. His calls will go to VM. If he leaves a message, I’ll determine by his message if a return call is warranted.
He wants a life without me...so much so that he took a pay cut to run away. Well that’s exactly what he’s going to get.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
