I can barely stand the sight of my husband. At the same time, I still have love for him.
For the past...I would say...2 weeks or so, some days I wake up mad at myself. Mad that I still have love for a man who by all intents and purposes...doesn’t deserve my unconditional love.
I think to myself, how in the heck is it possible that I could still love a man that has done all the things that he’s done to me.
Some days I wish I could just curse him out and tell him how I really feel. For the past 8 months, I’ve had to hold in many of the things I’d love to say to his smug tail. Why, because he’s in MLC and this is all about him and not about me...blah...blah...blah. R talks are not a good idea...and I know this because I’ve made the mistake of having them. So trust me when I say, I know it’s best to keep my mouth shut. It’s best that I save this energy for something better.
However, I’m just being honest here. There are days when I feel like bashing his face in. No worries, I’m not violent and would never do that. However, sometimes I visualize it. Lol!
He’s walking around with his arrogance like he’s on cloud 9. I wish he would have decided that he didn’t want this M before we invested so many years on it.
IMO he’s a quitter, he’s weak, he’s a runner. I know I shouldn’t say those things. But it’s best that I say them here rather than to his face.
Ok guys, sorry for this rant. Today was just one of those days. Thank God these days are few and far between for me now.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
