On old, if i read that a guy was only looking to date women that were a minimum of 6 years younger it made me think 1. He’s looking to have kids. Makes sense. 2. He has double standards about women and is not open to getting to know someone for who they are. And even if I was younger then them and met their criteria - I viewed that request as a red flag. Kind of akin to a women that will only date a man that earns a certain amount.
DV6...I think the main reason I did it was just that I never felt myself as old as the number might suggest and even though I am that age, I don't believe it's that old anyway. As I say I think it was more just my expectation based on how I grew up more than anything. For sure it could be seen as a bias, but one for which only until recently did I recognize and question why I had it.
Juju...so for sure I never made a requirement like that in my profile, nor does my age range appear when ladies see my profile.
FWIW in the past week I've had more contacts with ladies than I have days in the week to see them and they are all late 30's-40's. I'm very appreciative of the responses I've gotten to my profile and have had a great time chatting with many of them. I definitely think it's healthy and the right thing for me and them to casually date and get to know any of them so I don't repeat the quick situation I'm just coming out of. For what that is worth, I did receive a text from her this past Friday asking about a random news event and if I'd heard about it, then a "sorry to bother you" and that was it. I have dates for Tues, Wed and Saturday this week so far, I'm looking forward to having a great time with each lady and seeing what happens.
Meeting a new woman completely changed my perspective on what I was dealing with in my MR. Meeting a new woman also made me feel a lot more confident. My new GF is 13 years younger than I am. She is 26 and I am 38. However, she is emotionally mature.
My new GF is not afraid to give her all, even though she was hurt in her previous MR as well. Now that I see how another woman can treat me so well and make me feel wanted and desired, I see how badly I was mistreated in my MR. My EXWW always loved me at arms length and now I can see that she never fully gave herself to our relationship.
Also, my love language is the same as my new GF, which is touch, so its a wonderful experience.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Yeah, physical touch is my love language too and my last two boyfriends have shared that. It's so nice not to feel like you're annoying someone when you touch them!
I ended up with a tie for my top between physical touch and words of affirmation. For me acts of service was ZERO. Just looking back for the girl I was just dating, she scored a highest score possible 12 on acts of service so we were complete polar opposites on that love language.
First date tonight with one of the ladies I've met online. We've texted and talked on the phone last night. I think for sure we'll have a great time. Reminding myself to just have fun, get to know her, GO SLOW, NO RUSH. I'm tall at 6'3 and she's 5'11, I've never dated a tall lady before always have dated petite ladies. Will be cool to have a lady who can look me right in the eye...AND never having to bend over to dance with her
That could be good! I dated a whole series of super tall guys after my divorce, just kinda by chance (the first guy I dated after my divorce was 6'6" , followed by 6'4", 6'5", 6'6" and 6'3". ) What are the odds - I never even MET a guy who was 6'6" except for once in the distant past, then I dated two. But as an average 5'6" person myself, I always felt kinda guilty, like I should be leaving them for the tall girls!
LOL... I'm 5'10" and did not find any tall guys except the brain injured guy that was a potential stalker. Jack is 5'10" so at least he isn't shorter than me. Still...don't feel comfortable wearing heels as I would tower over him. Where did you find these guys KML...lol??? You should feel guilty.
So my date went well. She was who she said she was and was a legit 5'11, maybe even 6ft. Beyond that she was that, I didn't think anything of it. My sister is at least as tall as her and I have a girl cousin who's a legit 6'3 so. I think she thought I would be intimidated by her height, but wasn't. We had a great connection as soon as we met up and we both believed that would be the case leading up to it.
KML/DV6...it's so funny you two mention the quest for the tall guys. while we were talking she was talking about why was it that the petite girls were always taking the tall guys. she felt that the short girls should be leaving the tall guys alone for the tall girls. hadn't realize that was a thing until she explained it to me.
we had a great time, suspect we may meet up again this weekend. as i have week on, week off with my son that will define my pace of dating going forward. I think it will be a good thing as it will give me some non-modifiable time every two weeks so that I don't over-see any lady.
I’m so glad it went well! I don’t know why women have deal breakers of tall guys. Personal preference , I guess. My guy is 6’2 but I had no clue until I went on my first date with him. I’m only 5’3.
I’m going to caution you. Your custody schedule may dictate how often you get to see each other, but it does not determine the pace. Your last R you may have not physically seen each other as much, but emotionally, you got in too deep too fast.
Take it light and slow and get to know each other ! No discussing seeing each others IC’s upfront. Keep a little mystery going on
Ginger, yep for her she was thinking it would be me that has an issue with a tall lady. Height has never been a consideration for, but hey I'm tall so. Pretty much all of my previous ladies have been no taller than 5'4.
Yes, realized and agreed. I will make sure that the physical being together and emotional pace are taken slowly.
and yeah no more IC talk. hang out and have fun is it.
