So sorry you are going through this. 27 years is a long time - I've been in mine nearly 21 and it hurts like nothing I've ever known on bad days.
You've gotten some good advice. I know it's not what you want to hear but giving time and space are two of the most crucial things you can do right now. That's not to say to ignore your W - but she needs to figure her own stuff out without input from you.
I did the same things you did - pressure, begging, pleading etc - for quite a while until I found this site. My sit was horrible until I backed off. Once I did, it went from horrible to really bad, but it slowed down things and relieved a lot of pressure.
The key is to focus on yourself right now. Also - actions over words. I wouldn't give her the letter right now, wait until things are better. But I would start journaling - it helps to process your emotions.
This is an extremely hard thing to go through but you will be okay. These things take time and patience.
And remember to take care of yourself too. This would be a good time to get into individual counseling if you are not already - or if you are feeling really down.
If you have any questions feel free to ask - a lot of the vets here have been around longer than I have and they know what they are talking about.
