I ended up telling W that she was free to come see our S on Monday. I will come back in time for his bedtime routine but otherwise I'm going to give them some space to connect and have some fun.
Good for you, clearly you thought about your W's request and decided to accommodate. I think it's healthy to demonstrate you are not digging your heels in on everything, and also that you recognize the importance of the relationship between your W and S. That is good modeling.
Originally Posted by jac12
Thanks to Sandi, I won't chat with my wife tonight about her possible affair. What's the point in the end? If she is going to turn things around and come back she'll need to realize that on her own. I've been nothing but supportive and patient to this point and she knows I'm willing to work through our challenges. In order to show strength I'm just going to go on with my life.
I'll stay positive as best I can and keep interactions pleasant.
Did you end up chatting?
Originally Posted by jac12
I will also be seeing my lawyer tomorrow to get the S agreement drawn up and sent later this week. She'll be pissed I think but if she says anything what's the best response? This was her choice and I need to make sure our son is looked after?
The S agreement is your choice, not hers.
I know what the vets will say... if she says anything, just listen, validate, etc. No need to explain or justify.
I completely understand the impulse to provide some reason. Part of the problem with doing this is the conversation can quickly go off script. If you were to say "I need this to make sure our son is looked after," your W may want to change the timeshare arrangements with your S. Are you okay with this? Especially if her motivation appears financial? She may accuse you of having purely financial motives for caring for your S.
I'm only suggesting that mixing the financial piece with caring for your son is likely to heighten emotions and trigger both of you. This is one of the reasons to just listen, validate, etc.
