Goin' Solo!

[Dawn70]

I understand, M. It hurts! My XH and separated in late September and were divorced by mid-December. In early January, he's all of a sudden in a new relationship with the "love of his life" and making plans to move to her home state (1500 miles away from ours), which he does in late January following our divorce. They ultimately married in June of the following year and as far as I know are still together and he is still living in her home state, though he told me and his children all along (have no idea why he told me because I couldn't have cared less) that he would be moving back to Arkansas within a year or so because he wanted to move back before the grandkids were old enough to forget him. Oops...too late!

I say all of that to say that, there will come a point in your future where it just doesn't hurt anymore. It will just be like you wake up one day and you just don't care. It is like you can finally see the other person in a different light and it is not nearly as flattering a light as you saw them when you were in the fog of love that you once felt for that person. There is no certain timeline and it is likely different for everyone. But like J9 said, give yourself some time and it WILL happen. You'll just find this peace about the whole thing.

To speak to what you said (and I think it is great that you already realize it), comparing does nothing but hurt you, so stop that! You can easily fall into the trap of "oh XW has it so great while I'm struggling" while in reality, you have NO idea what crap they are dealing with behind closed doors, but I guarantee you, it is not all sunshine and roses for them because they moved SO fast and cracks WILL start to show at some point, if they haven't already.

So, relax, focus on yourself, take care of you and move forward.