Gerda's Prayer Takes the Form of Angels

[Rita]

Have had a wild round of e-mails with H when I said he could have the car if he paid me what he owes me for tickets and my half of it. I stuck to facts and numbers; he of course did not. The culmination was this one. What I find also very MLC about this is that for our entire marriage, we had issues with intimacy. He was for the most part not able to be intimate with me that often, though we were very physically affectionate and almost never apart. I am not saying I was perfect, I made many mistakes of course. But I wanted so much to be romantic with him, wrote him love poems for every birthday and anniversary, tried to have date nights, tried to be intimate and was always sad about that part of our life. But even in knowing that, I read what he wrote and feel a pang of confusion.

And if you wanted to be fundamentally in the identity of "mother" and to in that fundamental identity, as you say, "take care of the kids," then I'd recommend taking them out of the experience of poverty which mysteriously you gratuitously (unnecessarily) handcuff them to.

And alternatively had you ever wanted to be fundamentally in the identity of "wife" then I'd have (if I were you) drastically rethunk and reconfigured what it might mean to be "wife" -- for what I mean is that your email pressuposes that you (as a Catholic wife?!) have no fundamental priorities to an identity called "husband," and that the whole of reality consists of taking care of the kids.

It was your choice to be "mother" -- and now own it, but do not presume to believe that I abandoned the kids, bit rather own up and man up to the truth that you abandon your husband by giving zero priority to his basic needs as a man and husband.

And how in good conscience you can pretend to assist with Cana classes I have no idea. I only know that you and the Church which enlists you for that task are together the blind leading the blind. If my kids were to learn from you what fidelity between a husband and wife should be they would be marital cripples. In seeking the dissolution of my marriage I am hoping to teach what marriage should never be.

- H