Hello all! I’m going to keep it short and sweet and not even start a new threAd.

I had a blast in Nashville. My friend was so happy I was her surprise. She brought her friends from where she lives who is in the wedding party. We can’t stand her. She’s attention seeking, cheats on her husband and it’s all she talks about. We are afraid she will do something stupid and take the spotlight away from her on her wedding day. We are NOT going to let that happen. But what a fun fun city. I felt 21 again! Dancing on an own roof party bus dancing on the bar at coyote ugly....so much fun!

M enjoyed his solo vacay as well. He stayed in frequent contact and was very sweet and missed me. Some days he seems so into me others he can be kind of matter o fact. I’ve been trying to figure it out, and I think I kind of have. It upsets me sometimes because I feel like I am going nuts. He picked me up from the airport, brought me to breakfast and we spent during the day together. It was very nice he spoke of bribing the kids up to the vacation spot next year.

I struggle sometimes with what our future holds and what he’s thinking. He seems to be in it for the long run, but we never talked about what that meant. Moving in? Getting married? I have no clue. In a month we will have been together for a year. I figure after that point we can discuss what we see for the future in the next few years.

I also realize comparison is the thief of joy. I ready and hear about other people’s relationship shops thinking my guy should want to spend any moment he can with me. But he doesn’t. And that’s probably just what’s notnright for us. We both have lots of responsibilities and it’s not always possible.

I also have to take some time to focus on myself and my health. It’s been tough to not be active in the gym and gain the weight. And I saw a bunch of pictures of myself from this trip and I’m kind of disgusted. And I’m panicking about my physical because I bet my cholesterol is high.

I need to take care of myself and my health. Slowly but surely. I want to get back to where I was.

So I’m taking some me time, to focus on my health, my thoughts, my relationship, with as little pouting in from the outside as I can

I really need to begin to trust myself and rebuild my confidence