Persistent Endurance (Part 5)

[curtis7]

First I would suggest talking to a lawyer and preparing a settlement agreement yourself. THEN talk to her. "W, this separation isn't working for me and I've decided to proceed with D. I've consulted a lawyer and here are the settlement papers, please review them and let me know if you are in agreement. Please find another place for your horse as soon as possible and let's limit contact from now on to either issues related to the kids or the divorce settlement."

Please understand you should NOT do this to "wake her up" because it probably won't.

AS, I do like your suggestion of having a draft settlement agreement prepared when I deliver the message. It shows action has been taken, not just words. The wording is a bit too business like for me though. It’s important to me to tell her that I’m doing this out of respect for myself and that I accept her decision to not work on the MR. I feel that must be said for closure.

Well, some version of them all worked for others here in the past

But in both of those cases they filed because they were done with the BS and ready to move on. I'm not sure you are there yet, it sounds like for you this is just a trick to get her back. In that regard it will fail, and then what? You'll say "oops sorry I want a do-over, I'm not proceeding with D after all." Don't do that. Think long and hard about this, take a few weeks or even months to sort out if this (divorce) is really what you want. Because it probably IS what she wants, and she will fully support you doing all the work for her.

AS, I must say that you have a knack for getting the LBS to think long and hard before making a major decision. There have been a few occasions where I’ve read your posts and put the brakes on steps I thought I was ready to take. I appreciate that and I can see you are a strong supporter of giving these sitches time and letting them play out. Probably because you know that these affairs don’t last 9 times out of 10.

I am done with the BS and perpetual lies. This is not a trick and I am okay with the outcome of D at this point. I haven’t seen genuine change in her or desire to ever want to be with me again. Since BD, I have confirmed at least 3 PAs (and suspect at least 2 more), online dating with a few other men, sexting fantasies with people she’s never met, gaslighting, physical separation, loss of my kids 50% of the time, cake eating, and the selfishness persists. I just ask myself why would I elect to continue a MR with this person. Have you ever seen a WW come back and want to R with a track record such as hers? I would need a REAL apology where she feels remorse for the pain her choices caused me before I would entertain that notion. So far, I’ve received nothing more than a half-hearted fake apology for the ONS with the pickup artist way back on Valentine’s Day.