I think Westo's wisdom here is well worth a good chew. She is covering both sides -- hope and pragmatism. And that's really what I meant. I think it's true that if your H bounces back this quickly, the risk of relapse is high. But it could happen that way or not.
My only concern for you is zero expectation. If you can have a beautiful night together with no expectation, go forth, young woman! Your idea to respond but never initiate is I think the only path you can take until your H is healed, and that could take months or years.
About you sleeping with H after he left -- I almost felt jealous! I think you are right that kissing is something totally different -- it's very hard to kiss if you have no feelings. My H hasn't touched me for seven years. I used to long for that or I would be affectionate with him in some small way, touching his arm, etc. I would have done anything with him even up until the fall. He never even came close. He kissed me once in seven years. The first two years when he kept going away or I would go away with the kids, we would have an intimate hug goodbye. That would never happen now.
The horrors of his divorce methods have killed my ability to think about him in that way. I am trying to put that in a box and not worry about it either way.
Point is, I totally understand what you are feeling and the choice you are making. Try not to think past any given moment!
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
