Not really in any shape to offer support or arguments right now, but I would maybe revisit the timelines idea. It's pressure.
It's definitely pressure.
I don't think pressure is always bad, but it's something I definitely need to reflect on more as I am not feeling very decisive. We did originally agree to a 6-month separation, but it's clear the way my W talks that is not her intent. Do I hold her to the 6 months? Would that be unnecessary pressure? I honestly don't know, and it's not something I feel I need to resolve immediately, but if I let it go things will likely drag out.
I would counter that if you're standing for the M, there would be no deadline. I have none. This takes the time it takes. I didnt want the MR to end, my W effectively ended it because she is in a MLC or depression or WAW mindset or whatever the hell you want to call it.
I did get a few peeks inside my W's mind over the arguments and fights last year. It's why I dont ask anymore, why I removed all pressure (i still screw up from time to time but it's really rare now). It is absolute chaos inside her head right now. I would bet it's like that inside your Ws head too.
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At some point in the DB process, the LBS ideally can accept any MR outcome. At that point, if the LBS feels in limbo, I don't think pressure to move in some direction is necessarily a bad thing. The trick is that the LBS can be fooled into thinking he/she is okay with any MR outcome... when reality says otherwise.
As always you have the control, U, as do I. It is a choice.
I've chosen to stand and whatever happens as a result of that is my own doing. Choosing to stand is easy. Doing it is the hardest thing I have ever done.
As always I cant tell you what to do. Just provide another perspective on it
