Maybe I know what to do 5

[sandi2]

She has opened up Emotionally some. Which she refused to do before. It’s in this area I would really like to help her. I don’t want to smother her. But if she starts to lean on me. I don’t want to walk off and let her fall
I really think she is a WAW and MLC. I would like to bring up something helpful for her when she asks about what I’m thinking.

Stop jumping to the opposite end of the spectrum. If she asks for your opinion, then give it. Otherwise, validate and listen. Women usually want their H to listen and validate. If she really wants his help, she'll ask. I think this is more of what Oz is wanting to do, rather than the W.

When she opens up about what’s getting her down and I listen and validate as best I can. 30 min later when she asks wahat are you thinking about. I’d like to give a reply with some substance but I’m never sure what to say.

You are obsessing, b/c you continue to tell us this same thing. ^^^^^^^^^ Tell her you are thinking about what she told you. Maybe it's her way of trying to start a conversation. I know a person who begins every conversation by asking, "Is everything okay", almost implying there should be a problem. Maybe it's a habit she's developing, IDK.

All of these things. I have fought. HARD. I have overcome them all by doing something. That’s why this is difficult.

Yes, but those were your battles with health issues. I applaud you for fighting to beat the odds. Sometimes we have to give the other person the right to fight through their personal issues. Support is doing something, IMHO. Keeping the mouth shut, is doing something. IMHO. Validating is doing something. Not pursuing is doing something. The problem here is that it is not enough to satisfy you. Well, that doesn't mean you need to pursue some action just b/c you want to "do something". Listen, you left out one important thing in these health battles you've face. Healing takes time.

On my illness insecurity, W did bring it up to ask when my MRI was. I cheerfully told her the date. (Wed sept 4) and said nothing more. Kinda a victory for me

Great! A+ on your 180!!

She is searching for a connection. If she tries to connect with me and I’m out doing my own thing and talking about myself.

OMG! Just stop it. You sound as if you want an excuse to stay home and hover over her, picking her brain, and pursuing her. You want to find an excuse to stop GAL........b/c she just might choose that time you're out to "connect" with you? Come on. You've been told to balance GAL with your responsibilities at home. Nobody has told you TO TALK ABOUT YOURSELF! If your W wants to make a connection, she will. I think it's Oz who wants to make a connection.

Now, get off this merry-go-round cause it gets you nowhere. Find something else to fill you mind today.

What are your fun plans for this weekend?